Diane Lane: Relationships with the opposite sex are the most challenging
Diane Lane, 51, covers More Magazine in a lovely photo that looks very retro. I like how they matched the sparse cover design to her styling, there’s something very 60s mod about it. The rest of the fashion is contemporary yet classy, it looks like they had a very thoughtful team and they definitely did her justice. In the interview, Lane gets pretty candid. She opens up about aging, about being single, and about self image and insecurity. She gave a lot of great quotes, and I found myself nodding to a few things she said, particularly about being in control of your own life and not having to answer to anyone when you’re not in a relationship.
Oh and I just saw Lane in Trumbo. It was a very solid, entertaining biopic and I recommend it. I get why she wasn’t nominated, she didn’t have a lot of key scenes and the interpersonal conflicts were resolved too quickly, but she still turned in a great performance, as did Bryan Cranston of course. Lane is also in Batman v. Superman, which is out on March 23. Here’s some of what she told More:
On the commercialization of female insecurity:
“Remember those ‘Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful’ ads? We grew up with that shit. It was the start of that psychoanalytical thing in our culture where we market to women by making women compete with each other. I found it very discordant. So you’re not allowed to say ‘I’m pretty,’ because you might get eaten alive by the rest of the tribe, you know? And the fact is that most—I mean, I don’t even know if we could run down the list of all the industries that exist because of the propagation of female insecurity.”
On being rejected as a model by Eileen Ford at 12 years old:
“Imagine if somebody said your nose is too big or your ears stick out. For me, it was my neck was too short. It stuck with me all my life. I walked out of Ford’s office, and I literally thought I had dodged a bullet, trying to pull off like I am worthy of being in a magazine. What the hell is that even about? What makes anybody worthy of being in a magazine?”
On growing up a “child star” and landing on the cover of TIME at age 13:
“It was the weirdest time for me, being asked to pose in magazines [as a child]. I learned very quickly to act as if I didn’t possess any insecurity or anxiety because people were suddenly exalting me into a place of purported fabulousness … I was like, OK, clearly anybody can do this. It felt like falling off a trampoline and landing somewhere great. I just couldn’t take any of the attention personally.”
On being happy with living on her own for the first time in decades:
“To be honest, relationships with the opposite sex are the most challenging things I’ve done. You lose your compass, gravity changes, you don’t know what’s up or down, you’re trying to figure it out. You’re trying to make everybody happy, including yourself, and it’s just … it’s humbled me … Every room [in my house] is my room. I’ve been traveling more this year than I ever have, because I can. Suddenly filming a movie in South Africa is no biggie. Sure, I’d like a relationship again, but I’m loving the solitude as well.”
On cherishing the opportunity to work on herself without guilt:
“The largest room in the world is room for improvement. You know, some mornings my thighs are fat. Some days my hair looks great. That’s the human condition. Things hurt me just as much as anyone else. My insecurities, failures. I’m vulnerable to comparisons.
On aging:
“I rehearsed 50. I kind of stared at it a long time. I wasn’t going to let it terrify me. My relationship with aging is cozy. I’m not trying to play 29 and holding on with white knuckles, you know? I’m done saying, ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t who you needed or wanted me to be’ to everybody in my life.”
[From More, received via email]
I’m single and I really feel the same about being able to do my own thing. There’s something exquisite about being able to call the shots and not having to answer to anyone. Given what we’ve heard about Lane’s ex husband, Josh Brolin, I have the impression that he was controlling. They divorced in 2013 after eight years and there rumors prior that he was cheating, which he denied. He was arrested for public intoxication right around the time of their split and then he went to rehab later that year, so there’s that. I can see how a relationship with Brolin would be especially challenging.
I like how she describes aging not in terms of beauty specifically but in terms of being ok with where she is in life and not making excuses to people. I’m not quite there yet, but the older I get the less I care about what people think. You can’t meet everyone’s expectations and that’s ok.
Photos ©David Slijper/MORE Magazine
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